Movies Dearz

The votes are in, and the crown for the ultimate Oscar Best Picture of the 2000s has been bestowed on The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

The denizens of Middle Earth fended off the merry murderesses of Chicago and the gangland forces of The Departed, who had to settle for second and third places, respectively.  See the comments section below for the complete results.

He's sexy. He's suave. He's France's top secret agent, Hubert Bonisseur de la Bath — a.k.a. OSS 117 — but that's where similarities to James Bond end. This Gallic superspy is prone to attacks of vertigo, making politically incorrect statements and participating in a bisexual beach orgy.

OSS 117: Lost in Rio, opening tomorrow at the Landmark Nuart in Los Angeles and scheduled for release throughout the summer in other US cities, is a winning spoof of the earlier 007 films but may owe even more to the Inspector Clouseau/Pink Panther series. As 117, actor Jean Dujardin (who is a ringer for, if more in-shape than, one-time James Bond George Lazenby) bumbles along in self-assured bliss as he offends Israeli agents with his ignorant, anti-Semitic remarks as well as his female partner (played by the lovely, straight-faced Louise Monot) with his chauvinistic attitude while they collectively track a Nazi war criminal (a wickedly funny Rüdiger Vogler) hiding out as a wrestling promoter in 1967 Rio de Janeiro.


The movie is directed and co-written by Michel Hazanavicius, who also made its 2006 prequel, OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies. I don't know whether the filmmaker is gay or bisexual, but he and Dujardin seem to take advantage of every opportunity to get 117 as minimally-dressed as possible. Dujardin's attractive posterior is exposed several times (including during that beach orgy) and he is at various points shown in a form-fitting vintage swimsuit, a too-short bathrobe, circus-aerialist and Robin Hood tights, and good ol' tighty-whities.

The script is liberally peppered with funny bon mots and character bits. A foul-mouthed CIA agent serves as a slam against American aggression, and the revenge-hungry members of a Chinese dynasty make recurring appearances. OSS 117: Lost in Rio also boasts period-perfect original music, art direction and, of course, split-screen photography.


While hardly a classic piece of cinema nor even a classic spoof (the Austin Powers films were more knowing when it came to Bond lore and the vagaries of contemporary pop culture), the movie nonetheless provides 97 minutes of sheer entertainment and enjoyment. Viewers shouldn't come expecting anything more. After all, as OSS 117 himself warns his fellow bisexual orgy participants before getting distracted: "Out of context, a finger up the butt ..."

UPDATE: Oss 117: Lost in Rio is now available on DVD from Amazon.com.

Review by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

While I was still serving as a priest in Phoenix, I had the privilege of ministering for a time to a large group of Hurricane Katrina refugees who had been re-located there. Among them was a man with his pet dog. The pair were fortunate to have gotten out of New Orleans together, before most residents being evacuated were told they had to leave their pets behind.

The award-winning documentary Mine debuts on DVD today, and serves as a gripping, revelatory account of the little-known pet crisis that resulted from the 2005 double-whammy of Katrina and Hurricane Rita. It is estimated that 150,000 pets died in the cities impacted, while 15,000 survivors were distributed to 500 animal shelters across the US but without good documentation. Some of those pets' owners are still searching for their beloved animals five years later, and those that have been located haven't always ended up back in their owners' arms due to claims of ownership and legal challenges from their more recent caretakers.


Mine follows the plight of five New Orleans residents desperately trying to get their dogs back. Since so many GLBT people own pets in the absence of children, it may be easier for us to sympathize with the pain and guilt these hurricane victims feel. It is shocking, then, to hear the animals' new families accuse their rightful owners of abandonment and abuse, and to make the claim that it is in the dogs' "best interest" to not be returned to their Louisiana homes. As one ignorant foster caretaker judgmentally states in the film, "Katrina was the best thing to happen to these pets."

Geralyn Pezanoski directs with an admirable restraint when it comes to what must have been a great temptation at times to make some of the people in the film look like villains. While Mine contains moments of sheer heartbreak, there are also joyous reunions of some of the owners with their pets (additional reunion footage is included on the DVD as a bonus). It also shows the truly heroic risks taken and lengths gone to by animal rescue workers who, rightly anticipating a neglected crisis situation, descended on New Orleans from throughout the US in the storms' aftermath. Their efforts, even if imperfect, to secure care for so many pets deserve immeasurable gratitude.


Pezanoski says in a statement inside the DVD case that it is the director's hope "that the film will promote much needed dialogue not just about how we treat our animals, but how we treat each other." Mine is an essential discussion-starter, as we surely haven't seen the last of disasters that will test the limits of love, compassion and human decency.

Review by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

In recognition of this summer's premieres of The A-Team and Sex and the City 2, May's movie calendar wallpaper is a salute to movies inspired by the "boob tube".

Our "As Seen on TV" tribute features the families Addams, Brady and Simpsons; the adventures of Richard Kimble, George of the Jungle, Charlie's Angels and the crew of the Starship Enterprise; and the comedic stylings of the Sex girls, Wayne Campbell and the residents of South Park, Colorado.

All you have to do is click on the picture above to enlarge it, then simply right click your mouse and select "Set as Background". (You can also save it to your computer and set it up from there if you prefer.) The size is 1024 x 768, but you can modify it if needed in your own photo-editing program.

The Hollywood premiere last night of Footprints, a new film by Steven Peros (The Cat’s Meow), was eerily well timed in the wake of the TCM Classic Film Festival. The event took place at Grauman’s Egyptian Theatre, site of numerous festival screenings, and the movie features several prominent locations where festivalgoers had trod en masse only days before.

Billed as “a Hollywood fable,” Footprints celebrates classic Hollywood and the wannabe starlets who flocked there. When an initially-nameless young woman is found passed out in the handprint- and autograph-strewn courtyard of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, a journey into her personal past and the film industry of a by-gone era begins.


The woman (played by Sybil Temtchine, a ringer for Mira Sorvino), who is seemingly suffering from amnesia, is quickly befriended by a unique assortment of boulevard dwellers. They include an elderly gentleman who may be the ghost of someone from the woman’s mysterious past; a friendly Scientologist; a Catwoman impersonator (the Halle Berry version) on the prowl for cash from photo-hungry tourists, with whom the lead character suits up as Wonder Woman; and the faded star of a faux pulp classic entitled Lola, the Tiger Girl, played by a radiant Pippa Scott, who was in John Ford’s The Searchers among other credits.

Engrossing and sweet if not particularly striking in execution, Footprints comments on the delicate nature of memories by frequently paying homage to real-life actresses Gene Tierney and Rita Hayworth, both of whom became memory-impaired in their later years. Writer-director Peros implies, intriguingly, that the cinema may well be our primary collective repository of memories as a species. The players may pass on but — thanks to Hollywood, if not some supernatural entity or process — their presence is eternal.

Review by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

The just completed, first-ever TCM Classic Film Festival, which ran April 22-25 in Hollywood, was a class act all the way. From hosted, top-shelf cocktails at the fest’s opening night party — held in a ballroom of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel that had been converted into the lavish “Club TCM” — through three full days of celebrity appearances, filmmaker panels and, of course, screenings of classic movies in historic venues, both attendees (a number of whom were gay) and organizers exhibited an almost-religious reverence not usually found at contemporary, indie film festivals.

This may have been related to what I experienced within myself while watching childhood favorites like Bride of Frankenstein, the 1933 King Kong and The Good Earth on a movie screen for the first time rather than on TV. On one hand, I felt older than I ever have before but, on the other, I realized these classic films are a part of me to a quasi-physical degree. I felt the movies I watched in a way I hadn’t previously. They are in my blood, and clearly in the blood of many other people, who attended the festival from all across the nation and even some foreign countries, as well.

Chris with friends Mark and Kelly at Club TCM
The opening night premiere of a newly restored print of the 1954, George Cukor version of A Star is Born (it will be released June 22 on DVD and, for the first time, Blu-Ray) drew an impressive array of Oscar winners and nominees, including Cher, Alec Baldwin, Anjelica Huston, Martin Landau and a dapper Eli Wallach as well as a younger generation represented by Ben McKenzie, Chris Klein and out actor Wilson Cruz. Director Peter Bogdanovich was there, as well as TCM’s resident film host-critics Robert Osborne and Ben Mankiewicz.

While the sound system in Grauman’s Chinese Theatre didn’t sound well-balanced on opening night, resulting in loud but tinny-sounding musical numbers and sometimes hard-to-hear dialogue, repeat viewings of A Star is Born confirm that it remains one of Judy Garland’s best vehicles as well as contains one of James Mason’s best performances (both were Oscar-nominated for their work here).


The following morning found me back at Grauman’s Chinese and in line for King Kong with a cute, chatty USC film student named David. As critic Leonard Maltin noted during his introductory remarks, we were in the same theatre where Kong had its world premiere nearly 80 years ago for the world premiere of a new, digitally restored print that included the film’s long-lost overture by Max Steiner. While I was surprised to discover the movie more graphically violent (for 1933) than I remembered it, with close-up shots of Kong’s giant foot squashing villagers into the ground, it remains one of the most gripping and mythical of all big-screen adventures.

During the afternoon of day 2, I took in two films I’d never seen: the caustic, Manhattan-set morality tale Sweet Smell of Success (1957) and Douglas Sirk’s tear-jerking account of interior racial conflict, Imitation of Life (1959). Tony Curtis, who gives a memorable performance in Sweet Smell of Success as ambitious press agent Sidney Falco alongside Burt Lancaster as vicious columnist J.J. Hunsecker, made an odd appearance prior to the screening.


Making his entrance and exit in a wheelchair (the actor has apparently suffered a stroke) and wearing shorts, a T-shirt and a cowboy hat, Curtis rambled on about his “hazardous experience” growing up in New York and his opinions on acting. Most disturbingly, he uttered the word “lesbos” at one point while referring to women who appeared less than feminine to his observation, and he recounted his efforts at “making sure some guy wasn’t trying to grope me” while watching movies as a kid in a darkened theater.

Fortunately, my festival experience regained its classy aura once Curtis was out and Sweet Smell of Success began. The script, by Ernest Lehman and blacklisted playwright Clifford Odets, holds up remarkably well in its study of journalistic ethics and power. Lancaster and Curtis give blistering studies in contempt, and a handsome young Martin (billed here as “Marty”) Milner is great as the young musician who dares to challenge them. The film also boasts excellent direction by Alexander Mackendrick and photography by the legendary James Wong Howe, and a fine jazz score by Elmer Bernstein.


The Oscar-nominated co-stars of Imitation of Life, Juanita Moore and Susan Kohner, appeared following the screening of what they both admitted was their finest achievement as actors. Moore, who will turn 100 this year, doesn’t have the best memory but looks great. Kohner spoke more fondly of her role as mother to contemporary directors Chris and Paul Weitz than she did of her brief career in Hollywood. Still, both actresses and most audience members were pleased with Sirk’s then-controversial final film that ultimately focuses on a light-skinned black girl desperately trying to pass herself off as white. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house during the finale.

Sunday afternoon’s screening of the excellent 1937 film The Good Earth, adapted from Pearl S. Buck’s China-set novel, was remarkable for a rare appearance by its Oscar-winning star, Luise Rainer. Now 100 and living in England, Rainer braved ash from the volcanic eruption in Iceland as well as the loss of her hearing aid to be at the TCM festival. The still-lovely Rainer walked down the aisle of Grauman’s Egyptian Theatre to the stage with only the help of a cane and quickly revealed a still-razor sharp mind and memory.


The audience and interviewer Robert Osborne, who had to write his questions for Rainer down so she could read them, listened with rapt delight as she spoke about the making of The Good Earth (good-naturedly dissing co-star Paul Muni and MGM studio chief Louis B. Mayer in the process) as well as about her two marriages (her first, which ended in divorce, was to the aforementioned Clifford Odets) and her admiration for fellow actresses Greta Garbo and Julia Roberts. As TCM Channel’s production chief accurately announced after Rainer’s appearance, “This was the biggest event of the year in Hollywood.”

The North American premiere of a recently discovered, nearly complete cut of Fritz Lang’s science fiction masterpiece Metropolis (1927) served as the TCM fest’s grand finale. I had never seen Metropolis all the way through in any of its previously incomplete incarnations, and it was a thrill to do so with a very enthusiastic crowd of devotees in Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. The silent film was provided with extraordinary musical and sound-effects accompaniment by a live ensemble, the three-man Alloy Orchestra, performing the original score.


Prior to the Metropolis screening, Osborne announced to a roar of approval from attendees that the first TCM Classic Film Festival was such a success that another will be held next spring. While dates are yet to be announced, fans of Hollywood classics — GLBT and otherwise — should start planning now to attend. After all, these movies are in our blood.

Report by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

The month of May might be best known in local GLBT circles as the celebratory start to a summer full of Pride celebrations, but it is also the annual beginning of Hollywood’s biggest season. While many of the studios’ offerings will be loud, overblown spectacles geared to kids and teens out of school, there are more than a few more adult-oriented offerings with appeal to GLBT moviegoers.

Based on advance word and my personal survey of several studio and independent films’ public relations reps, the following are films we should consider lining up for between now and the end of August. They are listed in order of their scheduled release dates, but please note these dates are subject to change.

Iron Man 2 (May 7): Robert Downey Jr.’s tongue-in-cheek performance powered the Marvel superhero’s first big-screen adventure to record grosses two years ago. Downey and Gwyneth Paltrow return and face off against Russian baddies played by the lovely Scarlett Johansson and a resurgent Mickey Rourke. While Rourke doesn’t fulfill every gay man’s ideal of physical beauty, the film’s trailer reveals The Wrestler Oscar-nominee sporting nothing more than tighty-whities in one scene.


OSS 117: Lost in Rio (May 7): I’m just going to quote from the press release to describe this one: “France’s top secret agent, a cross between James Bond and Austin Powers, teams up with a beautiful Mosad colonel whose mini skirt and kinky boots disguise dangerously forward-thinking views on women’s lib and world politics.” Mexican wrestlers, a man-eating alligator and risqué sexual humor also figure into the plot. What’s not to like?

Robin Hood (May 14): Although star Russell Crowe is on the record saying neither himself nor his male co-stars wear tights in this new take on the classic hero, Crowe is always worth watching and Cate Blanchett co-stars as Maid Marion. Maybe Crowe will at least have a skinny-dipping scene like Kevin Costner (or, rather, Costner’s butt double) did in 1991’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves!

Sex and the City 2 (May 27): In what may be the summer’s campiest movie, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her BFFs Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Miranda (out actress Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) return for a globetrotting adventure but don’t lack for high fashion or cocktails! Mario Cantone and Willie Garson are also back as the quartet’s gay pals, with no less than Penélope Cruz, Liza Minnelli and Miley Cyrus (?) making cameos.


Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28): Jake Gyllenhaal of Brokeback Mountain fame sports long hair, a leather codpiece and buffed-up biceps in this video game-inspired fantasy from mega producer Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean). Again, I ask: What’s not to like?

Stonewall Uprising (June 18): A documentary that uses archival film footage to trace events and cultural attitudes that culminated in the infamous police raid on New York’s Stonewall Inn in June 1969. The patrons’ counter-attack marked the birth of the GLBT movement; billed as “the first non-fiction film to tell the story of the Stonewall riots by the participants.”

Toy Story 3 (June 18): Action figures Woody the Cowboy and Buzz Lightyear (again voiced by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, respectively) resume their CG “bromance,” this time in 3-D. The series’ regulars are joined by Barbie’s boy toy Ken (Michael Keaton), as well as a new character with the unfortunate name “Mr. Pricklepants” (former James Bond, Timothy Dalton).


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30): While teenaged girls are this successful book and film chronicle’s main fans, I know a few gay men smitten by its lovelorn vampire, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), and/or heroine Bella’s werewolf friend, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). Dakota Fanning also returns as the mind-controlling Jane, and Bryce Dallas Howard (director Ron Howard’s daughter) assumes the role of Edward’s jilted former lover, the vicious Victoria.

Love Ranch (June 30): A fictional account of Nevada’s brothel industry, starring Oscar-winners Helen Mirren (The Queen) and Joe Pesci (GoodFellas) as the purveyors of one of the state’s first such legal establishments. Problems arise when a South American boxer played by hottie Sergio Peris-Mencheta comes between them. Expect plenty of skin, both female and male.

The Kids Are All Right (July 7): This dramedy focusing on two adult children raised by a lesbian couple (Oscar nominees Julianne Moore and Annette Bening) who decide to seek out their sperm-donor father (Mark Ruffalo) was well received at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Written and directed by lesbian filmmaker Lisa Cholodenko (High Art, Laurel Canyon).


Inception (July 16): From Christopher Nolan, the writer-director of Memento and the last two, super-successful Batman movies, comes a mind-bending science fiction saga about a corporate raider who steals the dreams of business tycoons, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. The film’s great supporting cast includes Joseph Gordon-Levitt (of the gay-themed Latter Days and Mysterious Skin) and Juno star/emerging lesbian favorite Ellen Page.

Dinner for Schmucks (July 23): Cuties Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, so funny together in The 40 Year Old Virgin, co-star as an unsuspecting dork (Carell) recruited by a callous executive (Rudd) as a pawn in a mean-spirited contest. Things don’t quite go as planned, and the two end up as friends rather than adversaries. From director Jay Roach of the Meet the Parents and Austin Powers film series.

Beastly (July 30): A contemporary spin on the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast, starring Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical fame as Beauty to Alex Pettyfer’s disfigured teenager looking for true love. Out actor and awards show host Neil Patrick Harris is also featured in the cast.


Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (July 30): Bette Midler gives voice to the villainous feline of the subtitle, who is bent on world domination. This sequel to 2001’s Cats & Dogs (which featured the voice of the recently out Sean Hayes) is likely kids’ stuff, but GLBT pet owners may find it somewhat true-to-life.

The Girl Who Played With Fire (July): The second of Stieg Larsson’s international bestsellers involving bisexual computer-hacker Lisbeth Salander (strong and sexy Noomi Rapace) comes to the big screen quickly on the heels of the hit The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This time around, Salander and journalist Mikael Blomkvist go after the highly-placed leaders of a sex-trafficking ring.

The Extra Man (July): Described as “charming” and “howlingly funny,” this film centers on a young, aspiring writer (Paul Dano of Little Miss Sunshine and There Will Be Blood) who moves to New York City, where he befriends a failed playwright-turned-escort played by Kevin Kline. Think of it as The Great Gatsby crossed with Midnight Cowboy.

Also watch for several GLBT-themed movies that don’t have definite release dates yet: Spring Fever, Hideaway/Le Refuge and Out Late. And if these offerings aren’t enough for you, there will be GLBT movies galore screened as part of both the 9th Annual Dance Camera West and Los Angeles Film Festivals in June and, of course, the 28th annual Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, a.k.a. Outfest.

Preview by Rev. Chris Carpenter, resident film critic of Movie Dearest and the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.